.:. pre-NS feelings .:.
In less than a week's time, I am going to tekong island to learn how to be a man. Having been in a boys school for 10 years of my life and with friends who have POPed, its only natural that I am hearing alot of stuffs about NS, both good and bad. So like an absorbant sponge, I have taken in everything and with NS at the back of my mind until now, I have come to some conclusions.
Physically wise I am not that much afraid. I dun mean I am very fit enough that I can pass through everything physical exercise NS throws at me, I just have settled my mind such that I know I can go through it. I did get silver for napfa afterall, so at least I met their minimum limits for the BMT lo. And I have friends, whom I know to be not exactly what u call fit material, passing thru BMT fine. I dunnoe how hard it was for him to get through it, but he did. So ya, BMT just have ways to make u get through it, whether you can anot. And physical aspects involve mental capability to a large extent too. Its all in the mind, you just have to tell yourself you can do it, and you can. So I am not very worried about it, just gonna take the physical activities as they come, do the best I can. The pain's gonna be temporary anyway. Just suck it up, and then come out of BMT with better stamina and muscles then.
Hygiene wise ah, I tink I should be fine with it. With stories like going to camp and then not being able to bath, wearing the same pair of underwear dunnoe how many times, getting all muddy and all, to some it may sound gross la. But i guess i'm a guy la. Gross then gross lo. When I was on my 10 day trip to blue mountains australia, there were days when we couldn't bath too, and I'm fine :) Although seeing some of the wounds that ryan got is a bit disgusting but oh well.
One thing I'm looking forward to is to use things like the SAR21 and to learn to throw grenades. Those are not things you get to do anywhere outside, so its definitely going to be an experience. And moreover since NS is like a compulsory for all guys, there's definitely a part of me that is jus looking forward to it.
The only one thing I am afriad of is just part of my mentality. Like above, part of my mind is already set and ready for NS. But after reading ryan's blog, there's this part of me that is worying too. I've always been the worrywart kind of person, thinking wat happens if I dun do thise correctly, should I do this should I do tat. Example is like if say for cleaning rifle, I would start to worry bout whether I have cleaned it properly or anything...then scared kena punish then start to panic lo. So i am alittle scared thats gonna kill me la. But to counter that, I am mentally prepared to have punishment as if i need it to live la. I never had a problem with dealing with such 'punishements'. Sarg say do, I do, no point questioning la, also cant be undone. So ya lets see which prevails then.
Saving the worst for last. The thing I am most afraid of is that I will drift away from my friends :( Its an avoidable situation, which makes it all the more worrying. NS means only being able to step onto mainland during weekends (if we're lucky), and that short 2 days have to be shared between my family and friends. Naturally I would hv to spend time with my family, so I am not sure whether I can meet up with my friends as often. So I am very afraid that we would drift apart. I know we can keep in contact using sms, but to me, using sms is never the same as meeting the person. With people like mich migrating, it onli serves to make things harder. And I am the kind of person that really needs my outings with friends, so this is one of the things that I am most afraid of. The onli light at the end of this tunnel is tat so far I've almost been able to meet ryan fortnitely, so lets hope this carries on.
There you have it, these are my feeling before enlisting to NS now. Its 6 days and counting now...
One thing's for sure, my blog frequency's gonna take a head-down dive.
Revealed on [5:32 AM]
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