Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Not for the faint hearted...
In a minute edge of the heart,
covered by a facade of smiles,
is a dark little corner.
Darkness swarms around,
overpowering in aura,
surpressing the weakling inside.
A ray of light peeks thrugh,
cutting through the darkness,
like a ray of hope.
The hand is raised to receive it,
yet dragged down by weights on chains,
falling in the attempt.
Guilt, pressure and sadness,
tied and locked to the legs,
scratching the floor as the latter struggles.
Where's the colors that used to exist,
the bright enlightenment that this truly needs,
the colors of the heart?
The weakling huddles in the corner,
baring the weights on his own,
unable to free himself to the colors outside...
Been feeling like this recently. Nothing major has happened, so i deduce it is due to the snowball effect of many events. Tutorials, tests, the guilt of not having started on mid year revision, the lack of people during PE, and many other things which just all leads to a slippery slope. Need back the motivation to study like for promos last year...
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Revealed on [6:30 AM]
Monday, May 25, 2009
The key clicks in recognition of the lock,
allowing the door to swing open,
revealing a welcoming sea of orange.
As small steps are taken along,
the nose picks up a distinct smell,
slowly pulling me towards it.
Steel containers lay on the table,
lined with what's left of glutinous rice,
and beside the trigonal delicacies.
The rafia snaps as the scissors works,
the bamboo leaves fall apart,
revealing the steaming rice gleaming in its prime.
Yay, hurray to my grandma who can make dumplings, and they taste awesome. This settles my supper for the week :). Oh and my father did it again. He came home and immediately asked,"Eh u thurs wan sit the circle line go dinner??? Where also can, just try lor." haha. At least now not changi airport.
Revealed on [6:51 AM]
Saturday, May 23, 2009
This is a song i accidentally stumbled upon while youtubing. It's a very good example of how deep Japanese lyrics are, which is one of the reasons why i luv em :) Enjoy
All alone in the darkness,
I learned the meaning of your tears.
I've stepped forward to the place I wish for,
Yet I didn't want to hurt anyone.
Even today, the wind crosses over the sea
And faces tomorrow without hesitation.
Why can't my heart begin to move?
What fate awaits me?
I don't want to mourn over the things that have come forth.
Within feelings of sorrow, courage still exists,
And I grasp its radiance while believing.
Tears flow down from a clear blue sky.
Someday they'll change into a smile.
The wind that quickly chased after me
Slips between my fingers now.
I'm still too scared to trust,
But I won't stop no matter what!
As the moon softly grazes my shoulders,
And its silver path reflects on the water,
I've come to forget how to hesitate.
Even if a tomorrow of nothingness awaits,
There's a way to create something from it.
Even my destiny can keep changing,
And strong feelings are now filling my heart.
The blue sky's tears are overflowing,
But it will surely be sunny tomorrow.
So I can start walking towards
The future I looked up to,
I can go as far as I want...
As long as I don't lose sight of myself.
What fate awaits me?
I don't want to mourn over the things that have come forth.
Within feelings of sorrow, courage still exists,
And I grasp its radiance while believing.
The blue sky's tears rain down incessantly...
Someday they'll change into a smile.
Revealed on [9:08 AM]
Friday, May 22, 2009
GP lessons have been rather thought provoking, and 1 question that came up was "Y are we all in sch?"
I thought for very long, onli in the end to agree that Boon Bin's explanation is the most logical. Education in Singapore is seen as a norm, a common commodity, a public and merit good. This explains why all of us are in school. Spending longer hours in school than at home, learning the subjects of our "choice" and attempting to get a cert that ultimately decides our fate because of 1 exam. So is studying really what we want?
In this modern era of society, the "paper chase" is a common phenomenom. The education gives us the freedom to choose the subjects that we want to study, provided we are able to cope with it. But in reality how many of us are actually studying subjects that we want? I know that there are subjects that i wan to study but am not now. Also, with the criteria of H1 and H2 to enter uni, doesn't it kinda of force us to study certain subjects that we do not want to?
I know that many of us do not mind studying. Personally I don't mind learning, but schools make it rather hard to enjoy the process. Everything is so rushed, and emphasise is always placed on examination related concepts or skills.
Ya so y am I in school, well to study for a future is one, to learn is two, although I would prefer a more enjoyable method of learning. Oh well that's just my views, me and me alone...
To end of, a quote which is saw somewhere long ago:
Why are girls able to wear pants but guys not able to wear skirt...
Revealed on [6:58 AM]
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
"Sixth sense(cents) does not exists in Singapore bcos there is no more 1 cent." Quoted from ZhiYong during GP.
on the bus, Zu yao asked if he shd hint her abit
Monday was Volleyball finals. Ryan showed-off jenika, girls screamed lots, the game was not bad. Girls team won 1st, Boys 2nd. Zu Yao joined at bout 4+. So in the end we proceeded towards Bishan, where Sushan disappeared. On the MRT, Wendy disappeared, so left Ryan, ZY, and me. Met Mr Neo at Coffee Bean, sat and chatted. Then Ryan left, me and Zu Yao went to get some food.
i was like omg later i get SMS!
We took 58 home. On the bus ride, Zu Yao was like saying how much he miss 0804, and he sounds like so sad. Guess friendships formed during JC are truly lasting. Dun worry Zu Yao, we might have a class outing soon??? and u can always meet us on such similar occasions :)
Today was the my last meeting at The Drum. Most of thing is settled already, onli some last minute touch ups to make my disappearance complete. Since this is such a significant day, i shall dwell on my leadership journey in my CCA.
In St Gabs, I was part of the badminton team during sec 1 and 2. Then they suddenly wanted to renovate the hall to be able accomodate more students. So we were forced to have all our trainings outside. It was then training became rather tiring. Imagine week after week, after sch u must travel to places like Yio Chu Kang, Yishun, Hougang etc to have trainings and after that still must go home study. Quite sian for me. And worst of, when the hall was done, instead of the 9 courts we were promised, some smart designer drew the courts such that it cuts into each other...in the end the original 3 courts were the onli ones usable. WTF!!! So ya all this, coupled with a few other factors, I switched to the Library when i was still sec 2. Then the Library was named Chang Yung Fat Library, after some guy who donated 500k to us. Hmm it all started rather boringly, shelving and all. But when we got a new PE teacher as I/C, it somehow became...crazier. The whole library was runned by 3 committed people, the VP, Secretary and me, and i mean it. So together with the I/C, we embarked on our 2 year journey of craziness!!! We felt tat we should rename the library to make it a more "hip" place. So name was changed to theZone: the place to be. During the Hols, we sprayed the name on a banner that was awesomely big(i forgot the dimensions), put the signatures of the pioneers, us, and hung up on the 3rd storey at the parade square. We also began a series of events to show the sch how we not onli have books on academic but also on topics that apply to them. Our 1st event was a photography competition. We set up a forum for people to submit their entries and we even sang infront of the sch to promote the event, epic. But by the dateline the entries were less than satisfactory(expected) so we took cameras around sch and got people to take photos to submit. Quite successful. Learning from the 1st, we started a 2nd event, Commucratic Fest. It was a contest for bands in our sch to compete it out. We liased with AsiaYahoo for free gifts, which were a huge hit. The finals of the competition was also held at the porch area, and it drew quite a crowd. In the end, we had to pass eveything down, and get ready for O-levels.
For NY, I dun tink i need to dwell much, since 04 was mostly there. Got elected as president. 1st event where we actually got together for the 1st time was during the J2(then) step down ceremony. We did mass dance(dun ask y), made pseudo gifts which actually contained worms and basically had fun. Then it was a year of meetings, planning for open house and CCA Bazaar. Then came Telefiesta, our major event which we took much effort to come up with(thanks to 04 for supporting again). Shortly after tat here i am now, passing down everything.
To compare my sec sch journey and that of my JC would not be fair, as both of two extremes. JC's was rather structured. I guess that one year older means things have to be dealt in a more professional way. There must be meeting agendas before every meeting, proposals for all the events and everything is to be nicely tot out before execution. I am not saying its bad. It makes it feel more like a working life. So ya, is working life gonna be like tat? For sec sch, it was more fun. What can u expect when u hv a crazy PE teacher for I/C. He was like "U all have any idea jus shoot." So things were moving rather fast, as not much planning was involved, we just dived head on. I learnt much spontaneous thinking then as we faced many problems which had to be solved almost immediately. Yes we had more fun, running the events and all, and that was partly what made me join The Drum too, but i learnt new skills too, lik how to approach external organisations for sponsorship and what is involved in running an event. It was fun, crazy but hectic too. I remember where we had to go back to school everyday during the hols till lik 5 during the phase when we were going to relaunch the library to the sch.
It was also very different dealing with 3 people and now 20+ people. Needless to say we were very bonded, after spending so much time together doing crazy stuff. 1 of them is even in my committee now too. But now JC, dealing with 20 people has its perks. People dynamics comes into play. U get people who are just rebelious, people who are very obedient and also cliques which always stick together. I've learnt much from dealing with all these throughout the year.
So in end which is better i cant say, but i can safely say that my decision to join library in sec 2, which led me to my leadership journey, is definitely rewarding. Because i was in the exco in sec,i was chosen to be in the student council too and i will not forget something which i learnt during our council camp.
What is a leader? Is it someone who leads?someone who teaches?or someone who serves others? There's no definite answer, but i know of the destination which i want my leadership to lead me to. As a leader, people make it point to make sure everything they do is a success and as a result be recognized for it, thus be a history maker. But using the analogy given by the PE teacher himself, "We all know who LKY is, but do we know who is the one who helped him be who he is today?" Do we make sure that the things we do are success and we stop there. What we should be focusing on is how this legacy can be carried on forward even after your gone. U need to bred successors who are capable of doing what u have done, and with greater passion and experience from what u have already learnt, this way the legacy continues on and on.
Thus what i are aiming for as a leader is not to produce history makes, but "history maker" makers.
Ponder in it...
Revealed on [7:39 AM]
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Jus reached home from wedding dinner, its a wonder where people get the money to hold such feasts...
Yup as mentioned yesterday, I took the afternoon "off" to construct the cool Throne Eins. It sure feels good to be able to get back to the hobby after months of not touching any Gundam. I swear when i grow up, $30 from my monthly income goes into the expansion of my Gunpla set :)
So here goes my photo journal of the construction process. I finally understand why professionals modellers use a DSLR to take photos of their Gundam. It gives a highly clear detailed photo of the Gundam, something which my N73 3.4megapixel camera is not good at. So sorry if the photos are unclear, i think its also partly due to the fact that Eins is mainly black in color.
1300hr:
Dalvin had just finished his lunch and eagerly proceeds to his room to get Eins. He dug through his table for everything he is gonna need and proceeds to the living room, his workplace. He sets the equipment on the floor and goes to disinfect his hands(haha cos lots of sebum).
Eins in the box waiting for me.
My tools of trade: a rusty scissors and nail-clipper :)
Contents: Manual, 7 standared runners(trees) and sticker.
Closer look at the manual.1330hr:
Dalvin proceeded to build Eins. Using the manual, he quickly assembles the Eins, using his experience of a amateur modeller to guide him along.
An idiot proof guide, no need to know japanese to understand it.
Right before completion. The skeleton of Eins. 1530hr:
Its done. Eins is finally complete. Dalvin proceeds to do poses for it, and attempts to use his 3.2megapixel phone camera to take photos.
Complete! Pose with basic armament, a GN rifle.
Side view. Better angle to see the GN Launcher at its back.
Fully extended GN Launcer. Length of 27cm :)
Docking sequence. Thats Throne Zwei at the back.
Another angle. Easier to see Zwei holding the trigger at the back.
Thrones VS Exia. Gonna edit this pic, trying to add GN Beam.Yay now tats the 23rd addition to my team. Might be going to comics connection to buy a gundam marker to try panel lining. When is my 24th gundam coming in...I also dun noe, we shall see then. For now, Dalvin is satisfied with the new addition.
Revealed on [8:02 AM]
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday was fun. Played badminton for almost 3 hours. So shiok to be able to play badminton like tat after so long. Saw Mr Foo play, wow he can play. Played till i was dam tired. I fell asleep when i reached home immediately. OMG!!! tat was how tired i was. Now my muscles are so aching.
But I am Dam Happy!!! Sat was great!!! I walked into Comics Connection, and picked up my 1/144 Throne Eins!!! Yipee my 23rd to my collection!!! Been wanting to get it for a long time. Also saw the 1/144 00 Raiser trans am mode, but it was $43, so ya i chose Eins still. Then i walked to the counter and pulled out $50 dollar to pay :) And i fill no pinch cos as always its a reward from my mum :) Cos i got A for Chinese and PW yay thks mum!!!
Also enquired bout Gundam Markers, omg it costs $4 per marker. So i decided to go home and do more research, learn what colors to buy, how to do it b4 going to buy, But at least now i noe Comics Connection have.
Gonna start work on it tml afternoon. Its now waiting for me, arrhhh cant wait. Will also be doing a photo journal of me building it hehe...for fun.
Revealed on [7:01 AM]
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Do u rely on the walking-stick to walk,
Or does it rely on u for its purpose.
People always say to be depend, to depend on yourself no matter what happens. Afterall, u are always there for yourself, or are u. Your willpower stems from yourself, u can do what u wan to do. But in reality, are we so that independent. Do we always depend on ourselves, are we always as alone as we truly are in this world?
I've to realize, no. We all have something else we depend on, be it living or non-living, or simply jus a faith. I know i depend alot on my religion, or rather i owe alot to it. I always pray, for sucess in no matter what i do. I dun noe when i started, but every nite i will pray to thank god for being there for me, and to continue looking after me and my family. Uptill now, i still thank god for my good O-Levels results. I am always hoping for him to look after me in all that i do.
And also, to the silent 1 in all of us. To some it is the inner self they hear, or to others the soft toys that has been there for them since young. Either way, we all have something, or things, we depend on. Afterall, thats what make us humans social beings, we can never be lonely, alone in this world. Always we have someone around...
Revealed on [7:36 AM]